By: Jillianne Shear
My friends ask me all the time why I take so much on. School, works, kids, and some semblance of a social life on occasion. I don’t know that I know any other way to be. So taking on being a coach for Girls on the Run just gets added to that plate and balanced carefully. But is it worth it, the extra time constraints and commitments in my life. Well every day I show up to practice makes it worth it in my opinion.
I won’t say every day is easy. Not every day do I get to have a whole group of girls that are focused and know what they want to do that day and they accomplish it. Monday for instance, October 10th, the girls were amazing. The lesson was talking about gratitude. Sometimes even I forget what I need to be grateful for in my own life. These little girls reminded all too quickly of the things I should be grateful for every day, my family, friends, pets, and hey…even myself. I love hearing those little girls remind me of all the great things in my own life. And they are being genuine. They love their lives so much right now. That absolute happiness is something I feel like is infectious. My kids keep benefitting from my happier demeanor when I get home after a particularly good practice.
And let’s not forget I totally doubted the girls could achieve their goal that day. To run for 40 minutes alone and without talking. There was a hiccup here and there but over all the girls were pretty serious about seeing if they could do nothing but run for 40 minutes.
But then there are days like yesterday, Wednesday. The OMG can anything go right today? Granted I take a lot of blame in this-lack of sleep due to studying for exams all night throws me off my normal mojo. But I try to shake that off before practice. I have this sort of outstanding rule to never ever let the girls be aware that I have had a rough day at work or with my own school or my own family. But as the day dragged closer to practice things started to unravel a bit more. First, the rain started, and I have this panic feeling of keeping the girls in doors. I think I look forward to being outside as much as they do and when I know that it’s not going to happen I am legitimately bummed for them almost as much as for myself.
Then my assistant coach who is actually a bit of a highlight to my week with her bubbly attitude and great spirit writes me and says –she can’t make it to practice. I am bummed for her and the girls. They absolutely adore her. Then I get to the school, almost late because of course in Maryland when it rains everyone stops driving to stare at the raindrops on their windshield and when I get there I realize that I don’t have running clothes. I knew already the girls were going to give me slack about this. And then comes my favorite part, 12 girls stuck indoors like they have been all day about to lose their minds because they are all excited and riled up for practice and I already know where this is going to go…*looks for largest bottle of Tylenol…
Wait, this isn’t me. This isn’t what a Girls on the Run coach should be thinking right before I walk into a classroom full of excited little girls.
I know a lot of parents don’t know this because I am always so bubbly and excited by the time they come to pick up the girls. But I have hard days too. But I stopped, took a deep breath and turned down the hallway and said quietly to myself, “You CAN do this”. Feeling the self doubt slip away a little more the first girl comes running down the hallway towards me
“Coach Jillianne Coach Jillianne …random sentiment about school.”
And amazingly enough, being greeted by that smile and energy and excitement actually calmed my nerves and I felt so happy about being there. The day that seemed so horrible and dreadful suddenly seemed so bright and promising. How can just a little smile do that to me is still going to amaze me every day but I know it’s how it works because I have my own daughters at home who make me feel like that every day.
I won’t say practice was easy. As a matter of fact I am pretty sure I lost my patience with the girls once or twice. I don’t need to yell at them or scream. I am finding really neat ways to get them to focus. They were particularly excitable because a couple of the mom’s came to be my second adults since my assistant coach couldn’t make it. So they had a new audience. But my favorite method when the girls are being particularly ….energetic is to stop them in their tracks. Sit them down and ask them to think about their actions. Are they being a positive and respectful girl on the run? I love that they get quiet at that question. They know Coach Jillianne means business if she is asking them if they are being good. Because they don’t really want to answer. And I tell them to take their right hand and grab that nasty cord out of the top of their heads. I explain to them, throw that cord away, you are plugged into the wrong cord today ladies. Now I have them reach their hands out and look for their girls on the run cord. Tell them to look at that cord and how beautiful and clear and sparkly it is. It’s the cord we need to plug into so that we are all part of the same team working together. Now, it’s time to plug it in.
I swear I don’t know how that works but for the last bit of our session, while still crazy little girls, I feel like they are trying to be a part of the team.
My favorite thing was that happened was when I asked the girls to pick a value that they most identified with and tell me why. One little girl excitedly said courageous. I asked her to tell us all why and she looked around the room and suddenly became very shy. I have to giggle that she chose that as her value and then suddenly exhibited the exact opposite. And the great thing is I honestly think she is courageous and that value means a lot to her. I just think it was that moment where she had a great answer and the moment she needed to say it out loud she couldn’t think of it anymore.
So till next week, keep plugging into that sparkly Girls on the Run cord whenever you feel like you are losing focus. You might find it helps you make it through a tough moment too.
A bit about Jillianne:
I am a mother of two little girls myself, Ruth Abigail (6) and Charlotte Emily (2). Notice how their initials together spell RACE! I think it was fate that lead me to have girls.
Background-
I ran competitively in high school and college. I stuck primarily to long distances working in the 5-10k genre. My father was my best friend and trainer since we were a military family that moved constantly. Making friends was hard for me and I always found running to be the one place I felt safe and most felt like I could be myself. I could be angry, happy, sad, or excited and going running was like my best friend. My feet meeting the road and reflecting on my day and getting out of my house (where I had 4 siblings!) was the best parts of my memories growing up. The few miles that I would get to be completely alone.
I joined the Air Force and soon found I had a knack for helping others enjoy running. I worked with people training them and even competed on a run team with a group of young women, many of whom I still keep in contact with to this day, over ten years later. It was during this time that I realized how much I wanted to coach one day.
Years passed and I started a family and a career. Leading me to now. And every one’s favorite question:
How/why did you get started with girls on the Run? You don’t even have a daughter old enough to have heard about this.
Now let me tell you, this part still brings tears to my eyes and tells me there is fate.
Over the summer some friends of mine lost a neighbor of theirs to cancer. She had been active with her daughters with running and she had been a big part of the Annapolis chapter Girls on the Run. In lieu of flowers or cards they had set up a hyperlink to donate to the Girls on the Run. My friends know my passion for running and how much I love working with kids and sent me the information. Sitting at work I clicked unknowingly on this link and read Molly Barkers words, the motto’s, and the whole reason for the existence of Girls on the Run. I literally cried at my desk. I can tell you that at the age these girls are at and middle school, I would have given anything for a program like this. And even more so, I really believed in what this program is trying to promote. The first thing I read was this “We inspire girls to be joyful, healthy and confident”. Did you catch that? We inspire girls. Not only to be healthy but we want them to be joyful and confident.
I was sold on that line alone.
As a woman who knows what the girls still have to face in life, and as a mother myself to two amazing little girls, I only hope I can do that, inspire them every day and hopefully it will spread from them to the peers around them. I know already it has changed my life and made me more healthy, confident and joyful.
I coach every day and remember the mother that can’t be there to watch her girls grow up into beautiful young women. I coach for my daughters so that they have a healthy and confident mom to look up to. And I coach most of all for those little girls who come every day to practice and say some of the most amazing and astounding things and inspire me to be a better person to my own peers.
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